Every blue moon I meet someone in public; a person who I make a connection with. I cherish those moments, because making a connection (in an isolated age!) with someone so quickly is uber rare. On these few instances they've been completely attached straight men. Before I start a "whoa-as-me" diatribe about how I never get the good guys, I think it's time to THANK these people who have appeared and attributed their personal wisdom in my life, whether they wound up becoming my book publisher, a super nice guy at the gas pump or a totally zany book seller. These are people who have open minds and open hearts. It makes me a little sick that these absolutely wonderful men are unobtainable (which, according to Andrew I'm a romanticist and thrive on wanting things I can't have). It lends credence to the fact that "all the good guys are taken or straight!". But, to be fair...most of these guys are men that I don't even know well...it's just a surface relationship that I internalize and turn into some sugar-coated wunder-love. You know...the kind in the movies where you meet your soul-mate at the top of the Empire State Building...which is a total farce because the cut-off to get to the observation deck has been 7pm for years. Or maybe it's 9pm. I can't dismember. Anyway, so I'm completely laying my heart on my sleeve right now. Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic. It's too bad that at the age of 33, my previous experience with guys has been less than fruitful...and I always seem to have such rational and realistic expectations. I can honestly say, it's not me...it's them. I just happen to have a super big personality. I may be hard to relate to, but as most of you know I'm completely devoted to making something life-long and lasting. St. Jude, patron Saint of Hopeless Causes...hear me now more than ever!!! LOL.
The theme that reoccurs in my life is this: I meet someone who is cool, we get along and things seem groovy until the red flags start showing up. You know...you start feeling like the guy is a little sketch because he doesn't call you back when he says he will. Or he cancels plans at the last minute. And the biggie is when you're not completely convinced that he's not over his ex. But, as the theme unfurls...by this time, usually someone completely AMAZING turns up in my life...like a savior. It's totally my own personal butterfly effect. Just when you think it'll never happen...it does. The only thing about this pattern that is dodgy this time around is that I've met a totally smashing fellow...who happens to be straight. So, who said that I can't cultivate a completely platonic relationship with a beautiful man, both inside and out. And if you guys know me...I can be hard to get along with. I'm flighty. I'm spontaneous. I obsess over things like art and music and costumes and my charity work and collecting my various and sundries. I'm a big personality, and sooner or later, when and if I find a partner...it'll have to be someone who compliments me by grounding me first and foremost. And on the contrary, at the same time I need someone to unlace this corset I've been stuffed into for so many years. Someone to help me let loose and be a little more laid back with life. Oh, the irony speaks volumes, eh? I mean, the Clonapan can only help so much. ;O )
So, Elle Woods...you are my hero(ine). I need a bracelet that says WWEWD, as a constant reminder that, no matter how bad things get, there's always a stellar pink Hermes Birkin bag at the end of the tunnel!
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